After reading an article in the NY Times I felt it was totally worthy of posting it on my blog.
I think that many times the engaged couple may just assume that they have everything mapped out and know the other like the back of their hand. In many cases that is not the truth. There are many things that pre-married couples forget to discus and then it comes up post-married only to become a.) a huge fight b.) a huge disapointment or c.) the dreaded divorce. When taking on a marriage you have to be completely willing to communicate your needs to each other. No, you may not agree on everything but you have to comprimise on some things as well. Marriage is something that requires so much work and attention from both of you. So go over this list and sit down and have a heart to heart. Get everything out in the open so that you can have a happy marriage. 3 years from now you do not want to be sitting at home wondering why being married is not what you expected. Remember you make the marrriage work, it doesn't work on it's own.
So check the article below.
Weddings & Celebrations Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
Marriage Is Not Built on Surprises (Dec. 17, 2006
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?